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Post by bodie the almighty and awesome on Dec 31, 2010 23:30:22 GMT -5
The (Subject to Change) Cast:
Christie:
DENMARK
PRUSSIA, WHOSE BIRD HAS THE SAME NAME AS MY CHINESE CHEF'S HORSE
IGGY, WHO IS DRUNK AND NAKED
RUSSIA, COMPLETE WITH VODKA AND A KOLKOLKOL FOR EVERYONE
Chelsea:
AMERICA, DUDE
FRANCE, OHONHONHON IS MY FRENCH ACCENTTTT
DR. TRAN
THE VOICE THAT TORMENTS DR. TRAN
ACTUAL ASIAN MALE
THAT SCARY ASS CHICKEN
ME MYSELF AND I, AND MY BEAUTIFUL LOVELY HAREM/ORGY
COGSWORTH
THE MYSTERIOUS SECOND IGGY, WHO IS ALSO NAKED BUT NOT JEWISH AND WHO HAPPENS TO BE A FEMALE IGUANA
ZAC
Strangely Absent From the Drunken Adventures / Being Played By Both of Us:
SPAIN, HOLA SENOR COMO ESTIS
ROMANO, WHICH IS A LOVELY KIND OF CHEESE
AND LET US BEGIN. WHUT.
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Post by IGGY on Dec 31, 2010 23:32:32 GMT -5
DENMARK WALKED INTO A BAR ON A COLD WINTER'S NIGHT AFTER HIS FATHER WENT OUT TO GET SOME MILK BUT RAN OFF WITH SOME SPANISH BITCH WONDERFUL NEW YEAR'S EVE.
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Post by bodie the almighty and awesome on Dec 31, 2010 23:35:05 GMT -5
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
FRANCE WAS ALREADY THERE, DRINKIN' WINE WITH THE BAD TOUCH TRIO OF DOOM, MAN.
AMERICA WAS DRUNK TOO. HE DIDN'T USUALLY DRINK ANYTHING STRONGER THAN COKE, BUT IT WAS NEW YEAR'S EVE, AND HE HAD BEEN HAVING A DRINKING CONTEST WITH ENGLAND.
AFTER ENGLAND HAD RAN OUT OF THE BAR NAKED AND SCREAMING, AMERICA HAD SORT OF JUST KEPT DRINKING ANYWAY.
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Post by IGGY on Dec 31, 2010 23:42:14 GMT -5
SINCE SPAIN WAS RAPING ROMANO UNDER THE TABLE AND THUS KIND OF BUSY, PRUSSIA WAS JUST LIKE "DUDE THAT'S AWESOME JUST LIKE ME HAHAHAHAA I'M SO WASTED" AT FRANCE AND TOUCHING HIM INAPPROPRIATELY.
DENMARK WAS LIKE "YAY I CAN DRINK AND FILL IN SPAIN'S PLACE FOR NOW IN THE BAD TOUCH TRIO AND MAYBE IT'LL BE A FOURSOME SOON YAY"
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Post by bodie the almighty and awesome on Dec 31, 2010 23:52:49 GMT -5
FRANCE WAS NOT TURNING DOWN PRUSSIA'S SEXUAL ADVANCES, BECAUSE FRANCE NEVER TURNS DOWN SEXUAL ADVANCES, ESPECIALLY NOT FROM ANOTHER MEMBER OF THE EPIC THREESOME OF DOOM BAD TOUCH TRIO. HE NODDED AT DENMARK'S REMARK. "OF COURSE YOU CAN! THERE IS ALWAYS ROOM FOR MORE AMOUR IN OUR THREESOME, SOON TO BECOME A FOURSOME TRIO, OUI?"
AMERICA WAS SAD BECAUSE HE HAD NO IGGY. BE IGGY, CHRISTIE. OR SHOULD I ADDRESS YOU BY YOUR NEW USERNAME ON THE SITE. BE IGGY, IGGY. LOLOLOLOL. ANYWAY. AMERICA DRUNK IS BASICALLY THE SAME... ONLY EVEN LOUDER, MORE OBNOXIOUS, AND MORE SELF-ABSORBED.
"DUDE, I'M TOTALLY LIKE THE HERO HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
GLOWING TREES. REALLY, THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO LIGHT UP. EXCEPT YOUR FAMILY'S FACE. LOLOLOLOL. THROUGH JANUARY NINTH.
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Post by IGGY on Jan 1, 2011 0:07:59 GMT -5
GLOWING PENIS.
DICK CLARK'S HOT AMERICAN DICKINGS WITH A SIDE OF CANCER AND FATAL STROKE
PRUSSIA RAPED STUCK HIS HAND IN FRANCE'S ANUS DOWN FRANCE'S PANTS.
DENMARK JOINED IN W00T.
ENGLAND IS STILL NUDE AND GALAVANTING AROUND.
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Post by bodie the almighty and awesome on Jan 1, 2011 0:19:06 GMT -5
FRANCE, PRUSSIA, AND DENMARK WERE SOON INVOLVED IN A LOVELY BEAUTIFUL SEXUAL THREESOME. <3333 SPAIN WAS NOT JEALOUS BECAUSE HE AND ROMANO WERE INVOLVED IN THEIR OWN SEX, ALTHOUGH THEIRS WAS A LITTLE KINKIER. ALL I'M SAYIN' IS THAT IT INVOLVED TOMATOES. LOTS OF TOMATOES.
AMERICA STUMBLED INTO THE NAKED ENGLAND AND LAUGHED HIS SIGNATURE LAUGH. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHUAHAAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHBAHHAHQJAHAHAHAHUAGUIAIUGAGUIGIUAGUIAGYIAIGUYIUYGVAGIYAG IUYAIGYUAIGYAGIUAIGUAIUGAUGIAGUIOAGIYAIFVYAIYFGAF*OYDOF*^*YOVF^*PE79g pr789hresegrh9ph79pvdsh9uvhuhbyidfhuifh9hufsehue sfhusdgfsdhiusdfiudfsdfsdfs" THEN HE DECIDED TO MAYBE SAY SOMETHING COMPREHENSIBLE. "OMG IGGY HEY! DIDJA KNOW YOU'RE NAKED? DOYA WANNA MAKE ME SOME SEMEN TEA? I'M SO DRUNK AND I LOVE DRINKING I'VE NEVER REALLY DONE IT BEFORE BUT IT'S SO MUCH FUN LOLOLOL BUT HONESTLY THAT SEMEN TEA IS THE SHIT DUDE, AND ALSO I'M STARVING I REALLY WANT A BURGER OR FOUR I'M THE HERO HAHAHAHAHAHA." THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN HIS EXPRESSION GREW VERY SRS. HE TOOK A QUIET SIP OF HIS BEER AND NODDED. "YEP. SO HOW ARE YOU?"
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Post by IGGY on Jan 1, 2011 0:29:11 GMT -5
WHILE SPAIN WAS FEEDING SEXING UP THAT ITALIAN ASS, PRUSSIA AND DENMARK WERE TOUCHIN' THAT FRENCHIE.
IGGY WAS BEING VERY, VERY, VERY EMOTIONAL AND BEING ALL "AM I A PROTESTANT OR AN ANGLICAN? I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYMORE."
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Post by bodie the almighty and awesome on Jan 1, 2011 0:40:20 GMT -5
DR. TRAN IS A FULLY GROWN ADULT. AND A DOCTOR.
HE IS A MAN OF DUTY. HE IS A MAN OF HONOR.
WHO IS THAT?? ARE YOU TALKING TO ME??
HERE COMES DR. TRAN.
ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?
HE IS A REAL DOCTOR.
I'M NOT A DOCTOR. I'M ONLY FIVE YEARS OLD.
...WITH A PHD IN KICKING. YOUR. ASS.
FROM AMERICA.
...AHH I CAN'T KEEP UP WITH THIS VIDEOOOO
HOW DID YOU FIND MY VIKKAGE
LOLOL I JUST TYPED VIKKAGE. INSTEAD OF VILLAGE.
FIREWORKS. LADY GAGA. ...WAIT I MEANT KATY PERRY WHY DID I TYPE LADY GAGA? SHE'S INVADING MY BRAINNN
WITH A BROKEN LAWN CHAIR.
"I ONCE KILLED A MAN IN HIS SLEEP USING ONLY HIS OWN MOUSTACHE." - GERMANY.
30,000 DVD BOX SET.
MORMON CHILD.
Q IS FOR DR. TRAN.
OKAY BACK TO OUR PREVIOUSLY SCHEDULED POST.
FRANCE MOANED SEXUALLY, AND IN THIS CASE IT WASN'T A "THAT'S WHAT FRANCE SAID MOMENT"--HE WAS ACTUALLY TALKING (MOANING) ABOUT SEX. "OHHHHH, PRUSSEEEEE.... OHHH, DANEMARK... OHHH, ACTUAL ASIAN MALE!... GIVE ME A GOOD, HOT, AMERICAN, DICKING!"
"SHOULD WE GO DOWN TO OUR LOCAL RECORD STORE AND GET A FREE HOT DICKING FROM MR. TRAN?" ASKED ACTUAL ASIAN MALE.
"WHAT A FABULOUS IDEA!" FRANCE AGREED. "LET US GO RIGHT NOW!"
"OR YOU COULD JUST GET ONE FROM ME, CONSIDERING I'M AMERICAN!" AMERICA SAID HAPPILY, HANDS ON HIS HIPS IN HIS "HERO" POSE.
NOBODY RESPONDED. A FEW PEOPLE COUGHED. DR. TRAN SAID, "YOUR HOUSE HAS NO WINDOWWSSSSS"
FINALLY A CHICKEN BROKE THE SILENCE WITH THE FATAL WORDS, "I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"
AND SENT AMERICA RUNNING LIKE A LITTLE BACK TO ENGLAND LIKE A LITTLE GIRL, WHERE HE REPLIED TO ENGLAND'S PREVIOUS STATEMENT. "I THINK YOU'RE JEWISH, DUDE. YOU CHANGED THE NATIONAL RELIGION BACK WHEN WE WERE DECORATING YOUR CHRISTMAS TREE, REMEMBER? THAT WAS WHEN YOU FIRST PUT THE SEMEN IN MY TEA. SPEAKING OF WHICH, YOU KNOW WHAT I WOULD LOVE RIGHT NOW? A BURGER. BUT THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT. I WOULD LOVE /SOME SEMEN TEA/. CAN YOU GET SOME FOR ME, IGGY OLD PAL? HAHAHAHAHAHAHSHAHAHAHAHAHG!"
FOR A LACK OF ANYTHING BETTER TO DO, FRANCE NODDED. "NOW, WE SHALL GET BACK TO THE SEX, OUI?"
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Post by IGGY on Jan 1, 2011 0:42:38 GMT -5
OUI OUI, HONHONHON. MA FRAYNCH ACCENT.
IGGY WAS ALL "OMFG I'M NOT JEWISH?"
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Post by bodie the almighty and awesome on Jan 1, 2011 0:49:51 GMT -5
AMERICA (I'M TOO LAZY/DRUNK TO TYPE IN FULL PARAGRAPHS): "NO, YOU ARE, DUDE. DUN WORRY. WHEN YOU CHANGED THE NATIONAL RELIGION, YOU CHANGED IT /TO/ JEWISHISM, NOT /FROM/ JEWISHISM. YOU CAN TOTALLY GO TO SYNAGOGUE AND EAT LATKES AND WHATEVER IT ELSE YOU JEWISH PEOPLES DO."
WHEN FRANCE MOANS DURING SEX, HE DOES IT IN HIS FRENCH ASSENT. OHONHONHONHONHONHONHONHONHON. I WONDER IF INSTEAD OF LOL. IF FRENCH PEOPLE TYPE OHONHONHON. OR IF RUSSIANS TYPE KOLKOLKOLKOL LOLOLOLOLOL.
MY FIRST KISS WENT A LITTLE LIKE THIS~ <3
WELL IT HASN'T HAPPENED YET, BUT...IT WILL. MARK MY WORDS. I HAVE PLANS AND THEY'RE AMAZING YUS.
...I WANT ICE CREAM. I FEEL LIKE SUCH AN AMERICAN.
ELSEWHERE IN THE DRUNKEN BAR, BODIE WAS INVOLVED IN A NUMBER UNSPECIFIED-SOME WITH HV, NRL, IGGY, MRS. LOVETT, SEYCHELLES, COGSWORTH, MRS. POTTS, MEGAN MULLALLY, EE, SARAH B, AG (NOT ALEX), DR. TRAN, ACTUAL ASISAN MALE, THAT CHICKEN, A PERSON OF UNSPECIFIED NAME, LOCATION, AGE, GENDER, SEXUALITY, AND SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER.
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Post by IGGY on Jan 1, 2011 15:27:49 GMT -5
IGGY FROWNED, BEING KINDA RACIST BECAUSE HE FELT A BIT DOWNTRODDEN AT THE PROSPECT OF BEING A JEW. "BUT.... BUTBUT.... LATKES ARE GROSS. AND I LIKE PORK."
RUSSIA KOLKOLED A BIT BUT IN ENGLISH IT SOUNDS LIKE "KILLKILL" WHICH IS PRETTY LAME.
PRUSSIA NOTICED RUSSIA CREEPIN' AND INCONSPICUOUSLY WHISPERED, "GUYS, I THINK RUSSIA'S WATCHING OUR HOT THREESOME."
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Post by bodie the almighty and awesome on Jan 1, 2011 15:38:11 GMT -5
"HAHAHA SUCKS FOR YOU, DUDE. PORK IS AWESOME! BUT NOT AS AWESOME AS BEEF, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT BURGERS ARE MADE OUT OF!" AMERICA WAS NOT A VERY RELIGIOUS FELLOW, ESPECIALLY IF THE RELIGIOUS TRADITIONS HAPPENED TO BE TELLING HIM WHAT HE COULD OR COULDN'T EAT. "PLUS YOU CAN'T CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS! THAT REALLY SUCKS! YOU DON'T GET PRESENTS OR A TREE OR PRETTY LIGHTS AND A CREEPY FAT MAN DOESN'T BREAK INTO OUR HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT! YOU'RE TOTALLY MISSING OUT!"
FRANCE'S EYES GLEAMED. "AH, RUSSIE! I SEE YOU HAVE NOTICED OUR LOVELY SEXUAL ACTIONS, OUI?" HE CALLED OUT TO THE LARGE, VIOLENT MAN. "AND I COULD NOT HELP BUT WONDER... WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN IN?" BECAUSE CHELSEA SHIPS RUSSIA/FRANCE, WHUT.
ON AN UNRELATED NOTE, I THINK THEIR COUPLE NAME SHOULD BE RANCH. LIKE THE DRESSING. OR LIKE COWBOYZ AND AMERICA YEEHAWW.
MEANWHILE, COGSWORTH TURNED TO THE SECOND IGGY, MEANING THE ONE IN MY MASSIVE ORGY AND NOT THE ONE NAKED AND JEWISH, WITH A CONFUSED FROWN. "WHY ARE WE THE ONLY DUDES IN THIS MASSIVE SEXUAL PILE OF WOMEN?"
IGGY GAVE HIM AN EVEN MORE CONFUSED FROWN. "YOU KNOW I'M A WOMAN, RIGHT?"
COGSWORTH HAD NO REPLY FOR THIS.
"OHHH, MRS. POTTS..."
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Post by IGGY on Jan 1, 2011 15:46:15 GMT -5
"YOU DON'T SEE THE POINT OF CHRISTMAS," IGGY SLURRED VIOLENTLY, THROWING HIS PHONE ACROSS THE ROOM RANDOMLY. FEELING THAT THE PREVIOUS ACTION WASN'T QUITE VIOLENT ENOUGH, HE GRABBED SEVERAL GLASS BOOKENDS/DECORATIVE OBJECTS AND HURLED THEM AT THE BARTENDER, WHO HE THOUGHT MAY BE PRACTICING MAGIC WITHOUT HIS PERMISSION.
RUSSIA BLINKED AND CEASED HIS KOL/KILL CHANT TO ASK CHEERFULLY, "DON'T YOU THINK THE FAN-CREATED ASSERTION THAT MY PENIS IS LARGER THAN A NORMAL MAN'S ARM WOULD GET IN THE WAY? I, FOR ONE, HAVE NO PROBLEMS WITH TEARING APART YOUR INSIDES WITH MY FAT COCK DISPROPORTIONATE MASCULINE PARTS, BUT I HAVE A FEELING YOU'D OPPOSE THAT SITUATION."
I'D LIKE TO MAKE A NOTE OF THE FACT THAT RUSSIA HAS HAD A STUNNING 30 BOTTLES OF VODKA AND IS ABOUT TO PERFORM BRAIN SURGERY WHILE GIVING A TRUMPET RECITAL. HE'S THAT HARDCORE.
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Post by bodie the almighty and awesome on Jan 1, 2011 15:56:11 GMT -5
"I DO TOO UNDERSTAND THE POINT OF CHRISTMAS," AMERICA SLURRED ANGRILY, WATCHING THE BARTENDER GET NAILED IN THE HEAD WHILE HE SNICKERED TO HIMSELF. DRUNK AMERICA IS NO KINDER TO OTHERS THAN SOBER. "IT'S ABOUT PRESENTS AND SANTA AND LOTS OF FOOD. DUH. AND HEY, THOSE WERE MY BOOKENDS." THEN HE KEELED OVER ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING. "GET IT? THEY'RE NOT MY BOOKENDS, OBVIOUSLY, BECAUSE... I DON'T READ. EVER. AAHAHAHAHAHSHAHAHAHAHAHAHSHDVH8FEQH80RWGG8EGWHO8!"
A TINY TEAR APPEARED AT THE CORNER OF FRANCE'S EYE'S EYE. HIS EYES WERE ABOUT TO START CRYING. "BUT... BUT, RUSSIE... I LOVE YOU SO MUCH..."
"YOU DO REALIZE YOU SAY THAT TO EVERYONE YOU MEET WITHIN TEN SECONDS OF SAYING HELLO," THE BARTENDER, WHO HAPPENED TO BE THE FAMOUS ZAC OF RP FAME, POINTED OUT AS HE WIPED THE GLASS FROM HIS SHIRT AND PICKED PIECES OUT OF IS HAIR.
"SHUT UP," SAID FRANCE GLOOMILY. "RUSSIE DID NOT HAVE TO KNOW THAT."
ONLY 30 BOTTLES OF VODKA? PFFFT, THAT'S NOTHING FOR HIM! BUT HE DOES GET ALL HIS VOKDA FOR FREE, BECAUSE, AS MY DAD'S FRIEND VAS WILL TELL YOU, RUSSIANS DO NOT LIKE TO PAY.
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