I ROLEPLAY MEXICO, AND IN THIS RP, I ROLEPLAY SPAIN, TOO (LOL I JUST ACCIDENTALLY TYPED TOOL. AS IN, SPAIN IS A TOOL.). I DO NOT ROLEPLAY ANCIENT ROME. THEREFORE, IT MAKES SENSE THAT I SHOULD STUDY SPANISH INSTEAD. PLUS, WITHOUT THE GREAT INVENTION OF THE SPANISH NYAY, I WOULD STILL THINK THAT "MENUS" WAS THE NAME OF A GREAT WORK OF LITERATURE.
UM... I THINK THAT MEANS "IN WINE, FREEDOM." SOMETHING IN THERE IS BOUND TO BE ABLATIVE BECAUSE THERE'S AN "IN," AND ABLATIVE IS... WAIT NO. ABLATIVE IS BY, WITH, OR FROM. WHICH ONE IS WITH?
"IDK, DUDE," AMERICA MOANED. "I DID NOT TAKE LATIN IN SCHOOL. I TOOK THE ONLY LANGUAGE THAT MATTERS: AMERICAN! AND I THOUGHT YOU SPOKE ENGLISH?"
OR, IF THIS WAS THE JAPANESE VERSION OF HETALIA AND NOT THE DUB, AMERICA WOULD HAVE SAID THAT THE ONLY LANGUAGE HE SPEAKS IS ENGRISH. IT'S OKEY, I'M AMERICAN!
AFTER THE SEX, FRANCE BURST INTO A LOVELY ROUND OF THE LOVELY ISLAND FEAT. AKON'S "I JUST HAD SEX."
MEANWHILE, CHEF'S HAT MAN WALKED INTO THE BAR WITH GILBIRD IN TOW. ZAC TOLD HIM ADAMANTLY THAT HE COULD NOT BRING A HORSE INTO A BAR, BUT CHEF'S HAT MAN JUST SHOOK HIS HEAD AND SAID, "NO, HE'S NOT A HORSE. HIS NAME IS GILBIRD. HE IS CLEARLY A BIRD." THEN HE PULLED OUT A MAGICAL FAN AND SLAID ZAC WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT. "WE ALL DESERVE TO DIE," HE BEGAN TO SING, HARMONIZING SURPRISINGLY WELL WITH FRANCE'S IMPROMPTU SONG. "TELL YA WHY, CHINESE MAN, TELL YA WHY!"
"WHERE'S THE CHINESE MAN?" ASKED ACTUAL ASIAN MALE. "I'M ACTUALLY KOREAN."
"I'M A CHINESE MAN," SAID DR. TRAN.
"NO, DR. TRAN IS AMERICAN. FROM AMERICA," THE ANNOUNCER CORRECTED LOUDLY.
CHINA CAME IN THROUGH THE DOOR WITH A PLATE OF DUMPLINGS. "KONICHIWA!...WAIT. (I AM CHINESE. NOT JAPANESE. CHELSEA, THAT WAS JUST THE BIGGEST FAIL EVER.) I MEAN, NI HAO! WOULD YOU GUYS LIKE SOME CHINESE TASTY TREATS?"
"OMG MOCHIS!" CHEF'S HAT MAN EXCLAIMED, GRABBING A MOCHI/DUMPLING TO RESTORE HIS LIFE LEVEL. "THANK YOU!" BUT ON CLOSER INSPECTION OF CHINA, HE FROWNED. "WAIT, YOU'RE NOT YAO..."
"DAMMIT, THEY'RE ONTO ME." CHINA SUDDENLY PULLED OFF HIS MILITARY UNIFORM TO REVEAL A SAKURA HARUNO COSPLAY. "IT IS ME! AHAYUVA OR HOWEVER THE FUCK YOU SPELL MY NAME! THE CREEPY CHINA OF DOOM!"
"THAT'S MY FAVORITE SUBJECT!" EMILY B SAID WITH A SMILE.
"EMILY!" HILARY CALLED FROM THE NEXT ROOM, REACHING OUT FROM THE PILE TO HER LOVE.
"NO NO NO. NO FRATERNIZING WITH THE OUTSIDE WORLD." CHELSEA, LEADER OF THE HAREM/ORGY/PILE, QUICKLY SHUT AND LOCKED THE DOOR.
EMILY WAS SAD. BUT HILARY WAS OKAY, BECAUSE CHELSEA WAS THERE TO COMFORT HER.
"SO," SAID CREEPY CHINA TO BREAK THE AWKWARD SILENCE. "WHAT'S SHAKING?"
"GIMME A HAMBURGER," AMERICA MUMBLED. "AND SHAKE-SHAKE!"
"OKAY!" TAKING THAT AS A DIRECT ORDER, CREEPY CHINA MADE AMERICA A BURGER (WITH LEAF) AND WHILE DELIVERING IT TO HIM BEGAN TO DANCE. OHHH, MY EYES.
"I THOUGHT IT WAS A LETTUCE," AMERICA SAID, HOLDING UP THE LEAF WITH SAD EYES. "BUT I WAS WRONG. IT'S MY DADDY."
"THIS IS FUCKED UP," SAID DR. TRAN'S NARRATOR.
"I THINK MAYBE I SHOULD LAY OFF THE DRUGS FOR A LITTLE WHILE," ZAC SAID WITH A FROWN.
"SHUT UP. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD," CHEF'S HAT MAN SNAPPED AT HIM.
"SORRY," ZAC REPLIED SOFTLY, CLOSING HIS MOUTH SOLEMNLY.
JUST THEN DAVE BROKE DOWN THE DOOR. "ZAC! MY WIFE!"
"SU-SAN--I MEAN, DAVE!" ZAC RAN TO HIS SIDE IMMEDIATELY, CLUTCHING AT HIM FOR DEAR LIFE. "SAVE ME FROM THESE CRAZY PEOPLE, DARLING!"
"WITH PLEASURE. LET'S GO HAVE SEX," DAVE SAID WITH A WINK. SUBTLY WAS NEVER DAVE'S STRONGPOINT.
BUT ZAC DIDN'T CARE AND THE TWO OF THEM RAN OFF AND HAD THEIR FUN ANYWAY.
"IT'S TOO BAD. THEY COULD HAVE MADE OUR SIXSOME AN EIGHTSOME," FRANCE MUSED ONCE THEY WERE GONE.
"SI," AGREED SPAIN. "THEN IT WOULD BE ALMOST A TRIPLE RAINBOW."
